Sunday 22 May 2011

The Boy #3.2 - The Kiss


Sorry for the delay between posts, I have had a crazy week (will post about that later) but here is the rest of what happened on Monday of this week with Mattie <3
Where had we got to? Oh yeah...lol we were pretending that we went to Eton. :P It must've been around like 8.30 - 9 at this point so we went and watched Glee. Aaron is not really a fan so went off to play on his Xbox or whatever, so it was just Mattie and I. 
We sat next to each other on the sofa, watching Glee (I have BARE love for Glee, literally wish that my school was like that, firstly more accepting but more so that people would just burst into camp songs like all the time!! - Alas don't think its gonna happen, although I can imagine Ethan wearing lycra for some reason - LOL) So we were just sitting there, and I was building up courage. He could've sat in one of the small arm chairs we have in our sitting room, but he sat really close to me on the sofa. 
I decided (about half way through Glee) that I would try something, that if it went tits up I could pretend it was a joke:
I pretended to yawn and raised my arms (in that classic move) and put them round his shoulders. He looked at me -- my heart pounding -- and smiled, leaning in to rest his head on my shoulder!! OMG it was just perfect. We sat like that for a long time, me casually stroking his back ^_^ 
We then had a conversation that went like this (more or less) 
M: Hey Felix? 
F: Yeah? 
M: You know you like boys...
F: Yeah....
M: Well have you ever kissed one? 
F: Erm, once. But that kinda ended badly. Do you remember me telling you about Ethan? 
M: Oh. Yeah. I remember. 
F: Why do you ask? 
M: I dunno, just wondered that's all. 
F: (deffo interested now!!) Oh right. Hehe, have you ever kissed a boy....or a girl, for that matter? 
M: Yeah I've kissed some girls, never kissed a boy though. 
F: Oh right. 
--
Then there was this silence for what seemed like ETERNITY - was probably only about two minutes or so. But I was debating what to do. I mean the way that Mattie was talking and the fact that I still had my arm around him and he seemed to be snuggling right up <3 kinda gave me the encouragement that I needed.
I nudged him gently, and he looked up at me and then possible the most amazing thing ever happened. 

I kissed him. 
And he kissed me back!!! 

It wasn't like a full make out session, but it wasn't just a peck on the lips either! It was a proper kiss. My first proper kiss with a boy, and it was with Matthew. I am still in shock. Lol, don't wanna sound clichéd but I definitely saw fireworks. 
F: Now you have kissed a boy....
M: Yeah, (he laughs) I guess I have (he properly hugged me then) Thanks Felix. 
F: Lol, what for? 
M: Just felt nice that's all.

I didn't want to push my luck or anything and not believing I just had my first kiss, we just sat there and cuddled for ages. Mattie actually fell asleep on me :/ Lol. He snored softly. **sigh** 
When mum got back at around 11 however, he had woken up and we were just chatting about school and things. He told me about the girl he had gone out with a few weeks before, but she was really boring and just wanted him to touch her O.O I know right?! Talk about being pressured into things. So apparently, he made some offhand comment about her being slightly on the chubby side, "fat thighs" I think was what he said and amazingly she dumped him. Lol, I never realised he had such a cheeky streak about him! 
Mum came home, absolutely wasted as per and it was really embarrassing actually because she only goes and CHUNDERS all over the kitchen floor before she could get to the toilet. URGH. I don't know how much she had been drinking, but obviously quite a lot - I think she and her friends must've started straight after work (5pm) and drunk for a good 5 hours solid before she came home - I still don't know whether she walked or was dropped off...amazingly she can't remember. 
ANYWAY.  I end up having to clear up her chunder, whilst Mattie bless him, offers to help and gets mum a glass of cold water and helps her into a chair in the dining room. Thankfully we have laminate floors otherwise it would have been a horrible job cleaning up her vom...
He is such a star, really, looking after mum and all that. Eventually when I have cleaned up and everything, we manage to get her up to bed, where I have to help her get into her nightie….talk about embarrassing.. I did sent Mattie away before he saw my mum in the nud….would’ve just been way too embarrassing. He seemed remarkably cool about it all. (lol, this is probs WAY too much information for you guys, but hey ho)
It was close to midnight now and I for one was very tired, so we got into our jammies and I got my sleeping bag out for him.
To be continued...

Stay tuned,

Felix <3 xxx

5 comments:

  1. Hello Felix
    'Chapter 2', and things seem to be going well, your mother's issues notwithstanding. I'm hoping for a happy ending for you.

    Love & best wishes
    Sammy B

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  2. The contrast between your wonderful experiences with Matthew on the one hand and you having to cope with your mother's alcoholism is so striking. I really admire your solid way of dealing with the latter, and I think it's great that you still have the self-consciousness, energy and motivation to try out things with Matthew, to be there for your brother and mother. You really seem to be the "man" in the house.

    Congratulations and all the best on your "thing" with Matthew. :D

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  3. Hey, Felix,

    It’s been a couple of weeks since you posted. Are you OK?

    Also, I'm a little worried you might be putting out too much information about yourself on your blog. If you're using your real name, and Matthew's real name, or the real name of the school play, etc, then it might not be long before someone at your school does a google search and finds what you’ve written. “Never put on the internet anything you don’t want your worst enemy to find” seems good advice... How would you feel if the ‘apes’ at your school found it? The other possibility, which is maybe even worse, if that there are real weirdos out there, who might try and use the info try track you down in real life.

    If you're not using real names, though, please forgive my fretting... I'm just thinking you might need to be a little more cautious.

    Anyway, I hope things are going well, and I look forward to the next post,

    All the best,

    Roop

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  4. Heya Roop,

    Thanks for asking about me...erm I have had a crazy couple of weeks. (see latest posts for updates!) lol and haven't had time to post at all really.
    Erm, yeah I do write under a pseudonym and change everyone's names. Lol as if i need people like Ethan reading the stuff i write!!!

    :P Yeah i do kinda write about very personal stuf..:S is it perhaps too much so sometimes??

    Much love,
    Felix xx

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  5. Hi, Felix,

    Thanks for the reply. And thanks for putting my mind at rest over the pseudonym... I do fret sometimes... haha... but, the web can be a bizarre and scary place at times, so I’m glad you’re being sensibly careful.

    By the way, when I mentioned “too much information”, I was only thinking of the things that could identify you. I wasn’t thinking of the content itself. I wouldn’t dream of telling you what you should or shouldn’t post. It’s your blog, you should say exactly how much you want to - you know where you feel comfortable drawing the line, and all your readers will respect that decision.

    And, for what it’s worth, I think you’re doing brilliantly! Your blog is absolutely great just as it is.

    All the best,

    Roop.

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